Compassion in Education
Compassionate education might be an oxymoron to some people. I’ve talked to lots of folks who would say it was; who look back on their own schooling as a time and place devoid of compassion for their individual struggle or story.
I think compassion drains out of our classrooms when we spend more time seeing a group in front of us than we do a collection of individuals. This is one of the most important challenges for educators; to hold a micro-society in one hand – where kids learn about give and take, getting along, problem-solving, co-operation, and so many other key elements of living with others. In the other hand, we hold a jostling crowd of unique individuals, each with distinct needs, strengths, interests and histories.
A compassionate classroom acknowledges and strives to respect this balance. I believe compassion is a practice – one that can be nurtured and strengthened in ourselves; one that can be fostered in our students. The Dalai Lama says that “true compassion is not just an emotional response but a firm commitment founded on reason. Therefore, a truly compassionate attitude towards others does not change even if they behave negatively.” *
However, even the Dalai Lama concedes that developing this kind of compassion is not easy.
In order to transform compassion in myself from a conscious response for a select few to an unconscious and universal practice, I put myself on a four step program. I imagine myself moving steadily through these steps, but of course, I jump forward and slip back.
Step 1: I know someone and in their story, I find something which elicits my compassion for them.
Step 2: Although, I am presented with behaviour which does not elicit compassion, I can access my compassion by getting to know this person, hearing their story and finding something which brings my compassion forward.
Step 3: When confronted with a person who invokes a negative reaction in me, I can temper my response because, cognitively, I accept that everyone has their own story, challenges, and pain whether I am aware of it or not. Therefore, they deserve my compassion.
Step 4: I approach all people with compassion: I have internalized step three and it is no longer a cognitive process but an automatic emotional response.
What step am I on, you ask. Well, as with most things, you could say I’m on a sliding scale! I spoke with a friend about this topic and she thought she was a stage 3 or 4 with the population of troubled youth she worked with but a 1 with their parents. It’s a process. But the important thing is to be engaged in making it a practice.
And, again, as with all things, I have little hope of developing compassion for others if I am unable to treat myself with compassion. Perhaps the hardest is first; if I can find compassion for myself, with full knowledge of all my faults and foibles, it will be so much easier with others. Aren’t we always hardest on ourselves?
Why is it so important to bring compassion into our lives and into our classrooms? Because we are losing compassion in our world. It is not a right to be treated with compassion in our society, even though every human being would choose to be treated with compassion. We have a tendency to decide who deserves compassion and dole it out like a reward or sometimes, a bargaining chip.
Last year the provincial police called my home to solicit donations for their fundraising campaign and when I asked what the money was for, I was informed that the money would be split between preventative youth initiatives and a legal fund working towards harsher penalties for offenders. We seem to be at a crossroads as a society, torn between our collective compassion and our collective fear.
Each of us has experienced the power of compassion, both as recipient and giver. We have seen how change can occur in stuck places, how a shift can come when true compassion is accessed. We have likely all experienced being really upset with someone and thinking that we could never forgive them, but somehow we find compassion for their situation, whatever that is, and our feelings shift. Or we are able to focus on them as a person and not fixate on the perceived wrong they have done us, and we find compassion . . . and things change.
The generation of kids we are working with, will take charge of our collective future. Imagine what could be if they did so with the deep belief that every human being deserves compassion, regardless of their ideology, their past, their choices or even their behaviour.
“Compassion is not religious business, it is human business, it is not a luxury, it is essential for our own peace and mental stability, it is essential for our human survival.”
-His Holiness the Dalai Lama
*(Compassion and the Individual retrieved May 24, 2007 from www.dalailama.com/page.166.htm)
Also of interest:
Nurturing Compassion & Educating the Heart
Vancouver Dialogues 2006
http://www.dalailamacenter.org/vancouverdialogues/2006/nurturing.php#nurturing
Monica is the author of "Thanks for chucking that at the wall instead of me."
