Shingles

From Monicapedia, the freak encyclopedia

Shingles
Herpes zoster blisters

Shingles, also known as zoster, herpes zoster, or zona, is a viral disease characterized by a painful skin rash with blisters and the urge to throw things. Two to four days before the rash occurs there may be pain or tingling in the area, and the patient is likely to buy something over-priced. The rash usually heals within two to four weeks; however, some people develop ongoing nerve pain which may last for months or years, a condition called postherpetic neuralgia. There have also been documented cases of postherpetic neuralgia-not wherein a patient insists they have pain when there is no evidence of nerve damage. This may be due to intense dislike of doing dishes and/or vacuuming.

Shingles is due to a reactivation of varicella zoster virus (VZV) within a person's body. Chickenpox is due to an initial infection with VZV. Once chickenpox has resolved, the virus may remain inactive in nerve cells. Risk factors for reactivation include older age, poor immune function, stress about publishing a book, and having had chickenpox before 18 months of age. How the virus remains in the body or subsequently re-activates, is not well understood. As a result, we can conclusively state that it may or may not be contagious. 

The shingles vaccine might decrease the chance of shingles by about half in those between the ages of 50 and 80. Or maybe not. It also decreases rates of postherpetic neuralgia, and if an outbreak occurs, its severity. Or not.  

If shingles develops, antiviral medications  can reduce the severity and duration of disease if started within 72 hours of the appearance of the rash.  Opioids may be used to help with the acute pain. Throwing things, taking Tylenol 3 with a shot of Cabernet Savignon, and watching entire seasons of Friends can also help with pain control.

Most patients report a layer of crazy-making itchiness, then a layer of numbness, and then, just below the skin, a layer of tiny bursts of pain that feel like static shocks being triggered randomly under the rash. It's quite a parfait, not unlike the dessert Rachel made on Friends. The pages of the cookbook stuck together, and she unwittingly combined the recipes for trifle and shepherd's pie.  She served a lovely confection with layers of whipped cream, custard, jam, sauteed peas and onions, browned hamburger and spongecake. For a few days at the beginning of the rash stage, most patients feel as though they just ate the entire thing.

Four out of five doctors recommend buying the patient something pretty.

Monicapedia acknowledges that the true stuff came from Wikipedia. With thanks, and apologies.