New directions

So I've been thinking about this blog and the fact that I teach a lot less now and write a lot more. Interestingly, I spend the same amount of time thinking about behaviour. But that's why I write, really. Writing is my way of understanding behaviour; that of the characters, the real people who inspire them, and ultimately, my own. And because I am working on projects for kids (YA and MG novels), I am still spending lots of time thinking about kids. In the early stages of the YA novel, a writing group gave me the feedback that they just couldn't relate to the main character - for a variety of reasons - and when I spent some time with it, I realized that I was a little annoyed with my grieving 15 year old protagonist, Andi. I was not creating any sense of compassion or connection between Andi and the reader because of my own feelings for her. You see, I was a grieving 15 year old once, and unlike my protagonist, I did not start partying or lying or generally falling apart. I was a good little soldier. And I was resenting my character because she got to be a "normal kid". That was the underlying issue beneath my "annoyance". I gave her the space to grieve in a very real way and then I was annoyed with her when she took it. The upshot was all good: 1) I finally acknowledged that I didn't get a lot of help with my grieving and (apparently!) that pissed me off a little. Some healing occurred for me. 2) Once I decided Andi did deserve to work through her grief however she saw fit, I found some compassion for her. When I rewrote, the tone was completely different and the problem resolved. 3) I learned that writing is just like teaching that way: if you ask a student - or character - to face something difficult, you better be prepared to deal with your own issues.